Resolving Interpersonal Conflicts

I have never had a conflict with my parents until quite recently. I had asked their permission to do something, but they rejected my request. As a ‘grown’ adult, I became upset with them because I requested their permission to do something I believe is (not only was) correct.

It began with me sending a well-crafted SMS to both my parents to request their permission to do something. The first reply was a casual one stating that I was not allowed to do what I wanted to. I chose not to reply. The next SMS that came from them was a convincing one stating the reasons why they feel I should not do what I wanted to. It was this second SMS that made me very disappointed. I decided I would not reply because I might get rude, and because I did not know what to say to convince them. Hence, I did not reply to any further SMS that were sent to me.

I chose not to reply to the point I began ignoring and avoiding them.          

Which is worse - silence or a rude response?                  

The tension between us escalated till my mother could not take it any further, and vented her frustration on me. Things actually got better when we talked to one another face to face.

Reflecting on the situation, it dawned upon me that silence is a very powerful tool of communication. Silence is actually dangerous in times of conflict. When one or both parties involved in a conflict chooses to remain silent, the other party can interpret this silence in many ways. These interpretations are often negative because of the tension between them, and this only worsens the situation.

Now I feel that instead of getting upset with the rejection for a long time, I should have kept my emotions aside and thought of a rebuttal for each reason they had for rejecting my request. Perhaps, I could have gotten what I asked for. Alas, I am still waiting.

In conclusion, I feel that in situations of conflict, parties involved should separate themselves until they calm down before coming together to discuss a solution for their problems. It is crucial to note that the best way out of conflicts is to speak non-hurtful words with a calm mind. Speaking whilst one is angry and remaining silent will only worsen the situation. It is only good to speak without the emotions running high.
With that, I leave you with a quote to ponder over.

Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said, "The strong is not the one who overcomes the people by his strength, but the strong is the one who controls himself while in anger."

-          Narrated Abu Huraira, r.a

Shameem Khan 

Why are effective communication skills important for me?

All the world’s a stage.  And all the men and women merely players. And only the best of them accomplish.

The first two lines written by Shakespeare contain great truth. With that, I believe that the only best players will excel.  There are various aspects of a person that can make them the best player, one of which is – undoubtedly – effective communication skills.  

Effective communications skills will give me an edge over fellow candidates when I apply for a job. I am personally put off by people who are not able to convey their thoughts and opinions gracefully. I also feel that employers look at one’s ability to convey their ideas effectively when considering a candidate. However, the need for effective communication skills does not stop at the job interview.

In the working world, professionalism and the ability to communicate ideas are very closely related. A brilliant idea would be wasted if it is not well presented. Effective communications skills make the delivery of the ideas more graceful. Effective communication also adds grace to the way we deal with those who disagree with us, a common issue in the working world. When dealing with such situations, we should try to get our point across as gracefully as possible to avoid further complications or ill feelings.

Communication also plays a huge part in our personal and social lives. I sincerely feel that people will develop love and respect for those who are kind with their words and actions. Be they our family, friends, relatives or enemies, they will all begin to soften and love you for communicating so beautifully. Even if they do not understand the words  you speak, or the language you write, they would surely understand your nonverbal cues, for these cues are international.

Effective communication skills are therefore essential for me because I want to be the best. The best that I can be.

“It is very small in size, but it can cause so much havoc, and it can cause so much damage more than any other organ of the body,”Mufti Ismail ibn Musa Menk mentioned this with regards to the tongue in one of his videos. He puts it beautifully that the tongue is a gift, and should be used as a gift. That effective communication skills are important, cannot be justly emphasized.

Shameem Khan

The link to the video mentioned: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=69XTD46v4qU